By: Pastor Taiwo Odubiyi
Teju was a pretty 23 year-old lady in a University. She was a student in the department of economics and had a lecturer that took the finance course. His name was Mr. Samuel. Mr. Samuel was a married man but separated from his wife due to irreconcilable differences. From the first day of the lecture, the lecturer took note of Teju as a very smart and promising student consequently, he innocently directed questions to her. Teju’s classmates noticed this attention and often teased her by calling her ‘Samuel’s wife’. This was a gesture that often annoyed Teju but she couldn’t do much about it. As time went by, the attention seemed to increase and Mr. Samuel would send for Teju to assist him in marking scripts for other classes. To lighten the atmosphere, Mr. Samuel would crack jokes or tell stories while she worked. Teju would laugh at his jokes and feel comfortable. She would tell her friends the jokes and how funny Mr. Samuel was. As time rolled on, she noticed that she was getting addicted to seeing Mr. Samuel and spending time with him. She tried hard but could not get him out of her mind. She realized she was having feelings for a married man!
Many singles have found themselves in numerous scenarios like the one above, and in recent times, it’s as if some ladies just don’t care if a man is single or married. They don’t care if they are breaking another sister’s heart and home, but God still cares. He wants to help the married women keep their homes and help the single ladies to choose right. But it’s amazing to me how some ladies would not want to share clothes but are willing to share men! I have to be sincere here but I find that difficult to understand! As a single lady, trust God for your own man, and don’t settle for less. If the man is a widower (like Pete in one of my novels – To Love Again), that is different as he is free to remarry.
For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress even though she marries another man. (Romans 7:2,3 NIV)
And so ladies, when you find out that you are having feelings or getting close to a married person, go to God in prayer and ask for wisdom on how to deal with the problem. If you can end the relationship, this might be the best solution but if not, there are other methods of staying safe like getting to know the spouse and children of the person, reduction of discussion or activity that stimulate thoughts, and staying in God’s word. Asking for wisdom from God and obeying what wisdom says is crucial for surviving the situation.
But if you have already fallen into this error, return to God. Repent of your sins and ask Him to forgive you. He is ever ready to forgive. Next, you have to obey God by terminating the relationship with the married person. Obedience is a sign of your repentance. Come out … and be separate, says the Lord.
