How to avoid premarital sex when love takes over
By: Pastor Taiwo Odubiyi
E-mail: info@pastortaiwoodubiyi.org.uk
In ‘To Love Again’ one of my novels, Pete, a widower told his fiancée, Bibi, “In recent times, all my buried feelings have come alive again … I’m beginning to miss regular physical intimacy. I want us to marry as soon as possible. My feelings for you are strong and I don’t know if I can hold on much longer. I mean, seeing you and not being able to do anything is driving me nuts.”
Bibi didn’t talk as she had been thinking and feeling some things herself. Later on, she told her sister, Tolu, and her husband, Ben, “Pete wants us to get married in November because he is tired of waiting, he wants physical intimacy.”
Tolu and Ben laughed.
When their laughter subsided, Tolu told Bibi, “I will suggest you wait until January if it’s possible so that you can have more time to know each other well, He has waited for over three years, let him wait the few months till January.”
“But Pete has a point.” Ben said.
“Yes he does.” Tolu answered. He has a good point and it’s better for them to marry if he can’t control his feelings than to fall into the error of premarital sex.”
Ben spoke again, “In Pete’s case, it’s not as if he’s never been married. He was married and enjoyed the pleasures of sex in marriage on a regular basis and – suddenly, that stopped.”
“I know. As a matter of fact, I respect him. Some men would have had girlfriends to satisfy them while waiting to remarry.” Tolu said. “If he can control the urge and wait until you marry in January, it will be good.”
“He’s beginning to find it difficult to wait and for me, it’s not been easy because I love him.” Bibi said and smiled.
“It’s okay to have those feelings especially when you are in love but as Christians, you should not give in to the feelings. What you need to do is put some precautionary measures in place.” Tolu told her sister.
(Excerpts from ‘To Love Again’)
Premarital sex is sex before marriage and for many engaged couples, it’s an issue and they are struggling but as the Bible says, the people who know God will be strong and do exploits. Many people are messing up their lives for lack of knowledge. Sex was God’s idea and He ordained it for pleasure, intimacy and procreation in marriage. His will is clear, “Flee from sexual immorality … honour God with your bodies.” (1Corinthians 6:18 ,20. NIV) Don’t have sex with someone you are not married to. Awake to righteousness and do not sin. Your body belongs to God.
Tips on how to avoid premarital sex
Some people actually know that they should avoid premarital sex but they don’t know how. If you are in a relationship, here are eleven of the things you need to know and put in place to avoid premarital sex. They are what the Bible calls ‘the way of escape’ from temptations in 1Corinthians 10:13.
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As mentioned in the novel To Love Again, avoid being alone in a bedroom or place when you can easily do what you shouldn’t do.
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As Tolu told Bibi, another way out is for the couple to get married. Marriage is the cure for sex. Once married, sex becomes right.
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When the lady goes to the man’s house, she should stay in the living room and as much as possible, she should not stay long.
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They should avoid unnecessary touching and closeness that can set their feelings on fire.
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When you are experiencing those feelings, get up and get busy. Look for something to do or go out and walk it off as Ben did in the novel ‘In Love For Us’.
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Discuss and agree with your partner ahead of time that you will not engage in sex until you get married.Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? (Amos 3:3)
Mary told Mike in ‘Shadows From The Past’, “I’ve been celibate since I gave my life to Jesus and I intend to remain that way until I marry. I’d like to know your opinion about that.”
Mike laughed and said, “That’s okay with me. It’s the right thing for us as Christians. I don’t have any problem with it. I’m surprised you’re asking for my opinion.”
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As I have said several times, there is nothing we cannot pray about. Pray and ask God to help you keep your feelings in check until you get married. Jesus advised His disciples to watch and pray so as not to fall into temptation.Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Matthew 26:41)
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They should avoid dwelling on sex-related issues, and suggestive books, magazines and TV programmes that will arouse their passion.
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Many people are not spiritually strong. If they will be strong in the Lord and do exploits, there will be less casualties.
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11. Put on the whole armour of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. (Ephesians 6:10-11)
10. Ladies should be careful of what they wear and do. In ‘Love On the Pulpit’, Dave told Teni, “One of the things I like about you is that you don’t put pressure on me, you don’t seduce me. That would have made things pretty difficult for me. Ladies don’t know what they do to men when they dress or behave in a suggestive manner.” Some ladies tease, tempting men by the way they sit and conduct themselves. This is not right. And of course, the lady should not pass the night in the man’s house. Some ladies including those who are supposed to be Christians do this. This is wrong. Also, ladies should be able to say no, and prevent the man if he wants sex.
11. Don’t be in a relationship with someone who has no regard for the will and word of God. If you are a Christian, you cannot be in a relationship with someone who is not, and if you fear God, your partner must fear Him too. Sin is contagious, and as the saying goes, if you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas.
Really nice. The subject matter is well dealt , informative and practical. May God give us the garce to be doers of His words. Welldone ma!!! May God fill u up to overflowing IJN.
I enjoy all ur books, pls let me know where i can get them , i stay around iyana ipaja. Thanks God bless u .
In iyana ipaja, you will get the books at The Bible wonderland iyana ipaja. Or visit The Bible wonderland beside the national stadium, stadium bstop, surulere
Wat an Insight. I enjoyd and learnt 4rm this piece of article. God Bless. I’ll will prefer gettin your books,but how do I get them. I reside in Ikorodu pls.
In Ikorodu, you will get the books at The Still Waters Church, Borokini dada street, off 1st bank, lagos road, / TBC bkshop beside The Still waters church, the bookshops at garage by Grammar school
Gud words of advice ma. D lord will continue 2 inspire u.I love reading ur bks bt i’v only read few.pls hw can i get them.I currently reside in Ado ekiti,UNAD 2 be precise.
You will get them at Christore, ado ekiti
Encouragin words
Hi ma,tanks 4 d ministration & i glorify God in ur life. These piece is awesome. Pls ma where can i get ur oda books at Ijebu ode in Ogun state. Thanks…..
You will get the books at:
Joy & Crown in Ijebu igbo 08056337483